


Human

by Lokiitama



Series: One Shot Prompts [4]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Connor whump, Emotionally Constipated Connor, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Minor OC murder, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Self-Worth Issues, Survivor Guilt, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:02:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23192884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokiitama/pseuds/Lokiitama
Summary: rA9.This was a common carving or writing they found on walls where unstable, maladjusted and emotionally stunted androids went into hiding.  Thankfully, their numbers have been going down ever since the revolution had happened.It didn't prevent some of them to lose it, no matter how composed they could seem to be.
Relationships: Connor & Upgraded Connor | RK900
Series: One Shot Prompts [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1601422
Comments: 11
Kudos: 82
Collections: Prompt Challenge





	Human

Both the androids stepped into the room, and immediately started analyzing the environment. There was blue blood spread on some walls, in very distinct hand shapes. Some traces dated from even before the revolution, while some rare others were recent. Connor and Nines’ sensors dating it a week old at maximum.

It wasn’t the first time an android took refuge in this abandoned place. Thankfully they would find the android soon. 

As if on cue, some noise was heard, coming from further down the hall. Both the RKs looked at each other, before nodding. 

The noise had come from a smaller room. Its door was full of thirium splatters. It had a few bashes into it, and its wood was splintered in some parts. Connor slightly cleared his throat, letting the android know they weren’t alone. 

Connor opened the door slowly, Nines standing behind him.

The android inside the room, a TR400, was curled up in a corner, scratching something on the walls. It was strange seeing such a tall android, initially designed to carry heavy loads, looking so small and terrified.

Nines assessed the situation.

The android’s stress levels were at 74%, which was high enough for them to sometimes react brusquely. However, as he looked, the statistics of the android attacking them was pretty low. Although both Connor and himself would need to join forces to be able to throw off an android of that stature.

Connor approached them slowly, as he usually did on those thankfully rarer kind of cases, calling their name.

The Android’s shoulders shot up to their shoulders and he sprung around, the incomplete _rA9_ they were carving now ruined as they turned around, a small cutter directed towards Connor.

Nines tensed, ready to tackle the other if needed, but Connor raised his hand, one of them briefly passing in front of him.

The message was clear : do not attack.

Nines could practically hear the preconstruction program run in the prototype’s head. The way his shoulders mechanically relaxed, the way his eyes periodically jumping from the Android’s LED, to the cutter, the way his smile absolutely didn’t reach his eyes, nor his voice.

“Calm down” Connor said, spreading slightly more his hands. “We are here to help you. We heard what happened and we are going to bring you back to-”

The TR400’s LED flashed crimson, and they shot up from their spot.

_STRESS LEVELS : 97%_

Connor probably had analyzed the same thing, as he let out a small “shit!” before his posture completely changed, blocking the hit the Android was aiming to take. 

Before Nines could react, Connor was slammed into the wall, the TR400 pulling back to attempt another strike with the cutter. 

Blue eyes met brown, and Nines caught their raised arm right as Connor hooked his leg behind their knee, making the android stumble down and away. Nines oriented their fall so they would be pinned under him. 

The TR400 struggled, but, with effort, Nines kept them under control.

“N-No!” They cried out, as Connor started walking toward them. “Don’t make me go back! You can’t take me back! The humans!”

Connor crouched, opening the panel of the android’s neck. He had to act fast to put him in forced stasis, otherwise their stress levels could reach the deadly 100%. Connor’s hand faltered slightly over the panel, remembering the blue blood that accumulated on the plastic glass, accompanied with the constant thump of a head.

“Connor!”

_STRESS LEVELS : 100%_

Connor’s sense snapped back into place at Nines’ call, and he quickly overrode the Android’s commands, forcing him into stasis. The body went limp under them.

Nines stood back up, and adjusted his cuffs. He eyed his prototype, who was observing the unconscious android’s head, hand’s synthetic skin still not retracted.

Connor was becoming slower, he noticed. It wasn’t the first time Connor’s LED would suddenly blink out. However his prototype often was back to normal the next day.

Nines supposed that having to deal with the duties of being a leading figure in the android’s cause and balancing DPD work could lead to such a lack of efficiency. Even if Nines’ was technologically more advanced, he most likely wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer than Connor had before getting a few bugs here and there.

The RK900 sent a message to New Jericho. He had to let them know that the android had been apprehended, and that they might have a new patient in the psychological part of New Jericho. It had been a while since they had had an android that had such a hard time processing the emotions that came with deviancy.

Connor stood back up. Nines crooked a smirk when he noticed his prototype adjusting his cuffs as well. He had to take his habits from someone at least. “Their head won’t need extensive care. Their self-repair program should be enough.”

“Well, Ralph is going to see new faces in his ward.” Nines began, pointing his chin toward the TR400. “That ought to make him happy.”

Connor made a noise of agreement, but didn’t reply to the small talk, scanning the wall the android had been carving instead.

They didn’t keep talking after that.

* * *

They were finishing up the report at the DPD, their day coming to an end. The android had been left in the psychological ward of New Jericho, but they barely had had the time to explain what had happened that Ralph rounded the corner, shooing them off.

Nines had noticed it was mostly directed to Connor, but he said nothing about it. He knew some of the androids still were tense about Connor, and, by definition, him too, although they quickly told them apart.

Connor never really had explained anything about what had happened during the revolution. He didn’t have to. Nines already knew from documentation he could find, and tales other androids and people at the DPD would tell him.

Although that didn’t prevent Nines from wanting to hear tales of the revolution from Connor’s mouth. It was probably because the android had been his prototype, but he always felt the closest to him.

Which also meant he worried the most for him.

Like now.

Connor had been staring at his screen, filling his report. Usually, his LED would have been blinking yellow at a rapid pace, but it was stuck on a lazy fade in and out for the past five minutes. Connor’s expression was...hard to describe. Nines would have defined it as tense for sure, but there was something else that he still didn’t have knowledge on. It was almost as if Connor’s eyes were hollow.

His prototype seemed to snap back to reality when Hank set down his cup of coffee with a sigh. The human stretched for an instant, grumbling something about how filling reports was the worst, before turning to Connor. “So, kid. How are you doing with your new apartment?”

Connor’s LED returned to blue.

“I have been accommodating. Although I do miss Sumo.”

“Trust me, he misses you too.” Hank gave him a fond smile. “But you’re gonna see each other in what… ? A week or something?”

“Six days, 15h, 43 minu-...” Connor interrupted himself when the human sent him an unimpressed look. His prototype looked back to his screen, face a bit too blank, as he corrected himself. “A… week or something, yes.”

Nines focused once again on the report, letting the two partners chat about their latest case.

* * *

He curled up in a corner, hands in his hair.

_STRESS LEVELS : 68%_

There had been so much thirium. It was everywhere. Everywhere he looked, that’s all he could see. It was on the walls, on the streets, in houses, and, he noticed distantly amidst his breakdown, on his left wrist.

It was dried, the wound was already sealed off. Humans wouldn’t see it anymore.

He would have to wash his clothes again. At least three times. To be sure all traces of blue blood would be definitely gone. It had to be gone. It had to be.

He looked up to the walls around him. They were blank. So, _so_ blank.

Maybe if… ?

* * *

As usual, the next day, Connor was back to normal. His posture was less tense, and he didn’t seem to slow down from the whole day. At least from what he could have seen before him and Hank had to leave for a case.

It was reassuring.

Nines excused himself from the DPD in the early afternoon, wanting to check on the TR400. The streets were often filled with thirium splatters. Nines guessed that it was from the revolution. The dates matched at least. It was gruesome to see, but he easily tuned it out. He had learned to tune off gruesome thanks to his work. Murders weren’t uncommon. Besides, he knew that sooner or later, the rain would wash away the thirium stains. It might take a few months, but it was bound to disappear.

He arrived at New Jericho, and quickly made his way to the psychological ward.

The TR400 was there, dressed in a new, cleaner attire. The wound on their forehead was already taken care of.

Their stress level got up from one or two percent when they caught sight of Nines.

The both of them exchanged a casual conversation, although slightly awkward. The android apologized for trying to attack them. Nines accepted the apology, barely any damage had been done to them. 

He received a message, a case had arrived for him, and he had to go analyze the crime scene. He excused himself and bid his goodbyes.

On the way out, he crossed path with Jericho’s leaders. 

He greeted them with a small nod, but didn’t exchange much more pleasantries. They would see each other at the end of the week, to celebrate Connor’s new apartment. There would be plenty of time to chat then. 

* * *

His clothes had been shrugged off, laying on a nearby chair.

 _rA9_. 

He had made a mark on the blank wall. It was still too blank. It was still not enough. 

Gaze not leaving the newly marked wall, he put his hand in his chest, panel open, and punctured a minor thirium cable. He felt the liquid on his finger, and once they were coated enough, he raised it up against the wall.

_r_

All of what had happened was his fault. He could remember it all. It wouldn’t even let him get any kind of rest in stasis.

_A_

He could hear the screams. The pleas. All of them had been scared. All of them wanted to live. Most of them didn’t make it.

_9_

It was his fault. He had done this. He had caused all those screams. He had caused all that blood.

Nobody wanted to acknowledge. Nobody wanted to understand. They didn’t want to understand. They said they did.

They didn’t.

They wouldn’t.

He put back his hand against the punctured cable.

The wall was still too blank.

* * *

Connor was slowing down again. It was strange. Usually, he would look tense, but here, he was still as relaxed as Connor could get. His responses were a few milliseconds off though. Nobody would notice but Nines.

When his prototype exchanged a few words with Hank, before going to the break room, Nines followed. 

Connor caught his eyes, and gave him half a smile.

“Can I help you, Nines?”

He was waiting for Hank’s coffee to be done, playing with his coin. Nines could make small conversations with Connor, but it felt like the wrong course of action here, even though it was one of the prompts that appeared in his HUD. 

With a small metallic sound, the coin was thrown in the air.

“You have been slightly slower for most of the day.” Nines settled for the blunter path.

By the time the coin landed back in the middle of his palm, Connor’s relaxed demeanor had completely vanished. The soft edges around his eyes sharpened.

Nines couldn’t see it, but he swore he _felt_ the notification of the relationship’s status with Connor decrease. This was bad.

“I am fine, Nines.” His tone was flat. The low hum from the coffee machine stopped. His prototype took the cup. “Thank you for your concern.”

Connor brushed past him, heading straight to his desk.

Nines didn’t dare speak to him for the rest of the day.

* * *

The eyes were hollow, devoid of life. The android wasn’t moving anymore. He could hear cries. Cries of anger. Cries of sorrow. Cries of despair.

He curled up some more in his corner.

Everything was his fault. They all died because of him. All because of him.

He played with the cuff of his jacket, eyes darting left and right. The wall was almost completely filled with bloody rA9. It wouldn’t fade. It would never fade. It was only one wall.

It wasn’t enough.

It would never be enough. Nothing would be enough. He would never be forgiven. The stares still followed him down the halls. Still followed him down the streets. The thirium stains glared at him.

One wall wasn’t enough.

He left his jacket and top on the ground, to be wrinkled by his lack of care. 

His front panel opened.

One wall wasn’t enough.

* * *

Connor hadn’t greeted him the next morning. It felt bitter. But Nines had been the one to push him. He had to find a way to say sorry.

He kept stealing glances for most of the morning. Connor was still a few milliseconds slower than usual. His shoulders were still tense, but he didn’t seem lost in memories anymore. He worked hard for most of the day.

Once, he looked up and met Nines’ eyes. Nines couldn’t explain the burst of shame that spread in his chest that forced him to look away.

He stopped looking at Connor after that, but he could feel the occasional stare from his prototype.

Being paired up with Gavin for an investigation had never felt this relieving. 

* * *

Gavin had closed the case quite fast. He stayed maybe fifteen minutes while looking around the room, snorted disdainfully and went out. “Just another fucking ‘droid that lost it. Whatever. Case closed. I’m gonna go grab some food.”

Nines stayed on the scene to analyze it some more. The android was a LM100, registered under the name of “Bret”. He ignored the owner's name mention, and moved on the details of the body. The android’s chest was bare. His front panel was completely open, and some of the cables looked cut.

There were bloody sets of hands on the walls.

A few rA9 were written as well, in blue blood this time.

Judging from the Android’s position on the ground, it had probably been the last thing he wrote.

Something kept feeling _wrong_ about this however. Nines analyzed the blood on the walls. Some of the scribbles were in perfect CyberLife Sans handwriting. But too old to correspond to the body’s deactivation. 

He looked at the more recent _rA9_ on the walls. They looked like CyberLife Sans, but they were slightly off. The r was slightly too curved, the 9 looked too different.

He knew some androids usually changed up the font they used to write, to match their personality, but it was rarely the case with androids that resorted to writing rA9 on the walls.

The technicians _did_ say that those androids ended up writing rA9 because they couldn’t handle emotions so well. They couldn’t handle being alive so well. It meant they couldn’t possibly pick something so personal and _alive_ as choosing a handwriting.

Up until now, at least, it never happened.

Nines’ eyes lingered back to the cables that were hanging out from the android’s chest. 

He analyzed them. They looked torn apart, and… it definitely looked like some fingerprints on those. Androids didn’t have fingerprints. And human technicians didn’t go barehanded into androids’ chests.

Nines took a few photos, and kept it for later. It was definitely worth looking into.

Maybe it wasn’t just an android “that lost it”, as Gavin would put it.

* * *

_rA9_ wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough.

It didn’t make him forget.

The small cables wouldn’t be enough anymore. It wouldn’t be enough for longer sentences. He punctured another, bigger cable.

A red warning passed in his HUD. He dismissed it, and coated his fingers in blue blood.

_It is because of me._

_Because of me._

* * *

The next day, Nines was too focused on the case to pay attention to Connor. The more he looked into the details, the more it was too imperfect to be an android’s doing. He just had to find more clues. The situation was almost too human.

He knew they, as people, were getting more and more human by the day, especially when new features came out, or when they willingly changed part of the programming to have more personality.

But here the details weren’t possible for androids. Not yet. Not as it was now.

A new case came in.

Seemingly the same type as the previous one.

That was enough confirmation for Nines. A human was behind this. The amount of androids starting to write rA9 on walls had significantly decreased. The TR400 from the beginning of the week was the first case they had had in the past 2 months.

Androids were adjusting to being alive.

Having two cases like this in less than three days was too unusual.

Without waiting for Gavin, Nines stood up, adjusted his collar and cuffs, and went to the crime scene.

* * *

It was roughly similar to the previous one. The android’s top clothings were discarded somewhere in the room, various arrays of rA9 were scribbled in thirium on the wall- only much fresher this time. According to the “what the fuck” he heard coming from Gavin, they were fresh enough for a human to see them.

Nines observed the cables that were pouring out of the android’s chest. Once again, there were some fingerprints on them. They seemed to correspond. Maybe this time…?

He looked at the hand on the wall. This one definitely had fingerprints on it.

He committed all the clues to his memory.

* * *

He had more to write.

None of the walls were blank anymore. He had more to write. All of it was his fault. He had to remind himself. 

A warning flashed in front of his eyes as he punctured some more the main thirium cable in his opened panel.

He had more to write. 

All of this was because of him.

He dismissed the warning.

* * *

Nines stayed the whole night up, and it had taken most of the following day, but he finally managed to pin down who was behind the two murders. 

He and Gavin went up to the criminal’s house, and with a bit of a scuffle, they managed to arrest him, and put him in the car, to go straight to the DPD. 

The confession had been surprisingly easy.

The man was a technician that used to work in CyberLife stores.

Apparently, losing his job and now having to stand equals to androids had been unacceptable for him. He had managed to keep two androids away from the news, up until they deviated by themselves and tried to run.

As he finished the report, Nines idly wondered if androids would grow to act like those crazy humans, when they would be completely comfortable with being alive.

He heard Hank’s routine stretch - his back popped a bit, he let his arms go down with a satisfied sigh. The human turned to Connor. Nines let himself listen in to their conversations, allowing a few glances in their direction.

“Aight, so tomorrow around 1pm, right?”

Connor nodded.

Nines frowned slightly, Connor would usually be chattier with Hank. His reaction time was even slower than two days ago.

Would Nines dare analyze Connor?

He gave a nervous glance toward his prototype, who was exchanging “see you tomorrow”s with Hank. He didn’t know if Connor was still upset with him. Besides, it was kind of an unspoken rule between the two of them.

They would use the advanced technology they were built with on others, but not each other. They knew it could become a breach of privacy pretty fast, especially when it regarded other androids, but both of them only used it for work.

His eyes met Connor’s.

He didn’t seem that upset anymore, but his eyes still looked so… hollow. It wasn’t uncharacteristic of Connor, but it still worried him enough.

Nines would probably look for something to bring to Connor’s apartment tomorrow. It would definitely help chase out the emptiness in Connor’s eyes.

He already had an idea of what to bring.

A smile played on his lips as he thought of Connor’s face when he’d see it.

* * *

Nines walked toward Connor’s apartment, a wrapped up adorable dogs calendar under his arm. Today was relatively good. He had managed to finish most of his reports, he had no big case going on. He could truly think about enjoying himself.

They had planned this little party for a while. When Connor first had gotten his apartment, he was all giddy and excited about it. It was fairly recent for androids to be allowed to have their own houses, but only a month after it was rendered legal, Connor managed to get one.

The neighbourhood wasn’t the safest, but simply having Connor living there seemed to bring down the crimes in that sector of Detroit down. 

It wasn’t the biggest apartment, and they probably all would be a bit squeezed together, with how many people were invited, but Nines was truly excited about seeing the place.

They would be able to chat up with the Revolution’s Leaders, Hank, and he’d get to see Sumo for the third time ever. The dog never failed to cheer Connor up.

Hank had agreed to bring his own food for the day, while Markus and the leaders would bring thirium and newly created thirium-based food.

Nines looked up to the tall building, his GPS telling him he had arrived at his destination.

The walls were a bit dirty, and the building didn’t look the prettiest, but he knew he shouldn’t judge on appearances alone. Maybe his work was influencing him a bit too much though, as he started making preconstructions and databanks of the possible ways a criminal could’ve tried to escape the building and in the small alleyways around it.

Nines wasn’t exactly on time, as he had to pass by the shop before. For any other meeting, he would have been bothered, but this was a casual party. He was just… fashionably late.

The elevator stopped at Connor’s floor and he knocked on the door.

He could already hear noise inside, more specifically Hank complaining back to Connor about the food he had brought.

He heard steps coming toward the door, as well as Connor’s voice, slightly louder, that was explaining how greasy food could be bad for the heart and other medical conditions. 

The door opened.

Connor’s eyes were still hollow.

Nines still received a small smile from his prototype, as he stepped aside to let him in. “Welcome to my apartment, Nines!”

Sumo was near Connor’s legs, and Nines gave him a pat as he came in. The dog’s fur was soft. Hank most likely had given him a bath.

Nines followed Connor through the small corridor, and stopped right in his tracks when he saw the living room. His LED suddenly blinked red as he took in the state of the walls. And the ceiling.

The Floor, too.

Everything was covered in blue blood. Everything was scribbled over. A lot of the writings were just _rA9_ on repeat. But he could see full fledged sentences. Some were interrupted. Some looked like complete nonsense.

He forced himself to relax. There had to be an explanation… right? His eyes fell to the group, who were looking at him. More specifically, his LED, that had switched to a solid yellow color.

Connor turned to him, the slight smile still on his face. Right behind his head, in perfect CyberLife Sans font, was written _I killed them all_.

Nines wasn’t sure of what to do. His fingers itched for something to play with.

He felt the wrap of the calendar against his fingertips. The others’ expression shifted to concern. Something had to be wrong. Couldn’t they see it?

“Hey, kid. What did ya bring?”

His gaze snapped to Hank. The human clearly seemed put off by Nines’ reaction when he had entered, but he gave the man credit for trying to ease out the situation.

He gave Connor the wrapped gift, right as he sat down next to North on the sofa. 

Connor’s movements were slow. More than a second too slow. Nines would have even said they were sluggish. 

He heard a small gasp, and Connor’s traits softened. He turned to Nines. “I didn’t have that! I know exactly where to put it! Thank you so much!”

His eyes were still empty.

Nines avoided those eyes. He didn’t like them.

On the wall he stared at, he read _All my fault. They’re dead._

_They don’t understand._

There were exactly 347 _rA9_ written around those, as well. 

He heard the pages of the calendar flip. Simon spoke up. “Aw! I can’t wait for you to be in September, that picture is too adorable!”

North countered. According to her, July’s picture was the best. The group quickly fell into a comfortable chat after that. Connor looked excited. He talked as if he was truly happy to have everyone in his tiny living room.

Nines could see he wasn’t. 

His eyes were empty.

Connor was tense.

It was like the thirium on the walls was closing on them, suffocating Nines. How long did Connor live like this? Was it even Connor’s? It had to be. He knew Connor usually tensed when the splatters of blue blood were a bit too big.

He wouldn’t have taken an apartment filled with… with whatever that was, right?

He heard a light laugh, and saw his prototype serve some thirium in cups, as well as a beer to everyone. Nines had taken his glass but… he really didn’t feel like drinking it. Not when he could see all that was on the walls.

He slushed the liquid around.

He knew Connor would consider this some kind of betrayal. However, there was only one way to know the truth.

Fingers tensing on the stem of the glass, he looked up to Connor, who was petting Sumo.

_ANALYSING..._

_MODEL : RK800_

_NAME : CONNOR_

_OWNER : CLASSIFIED_

_STRESS LEVELS : ENCRYPTED_

Nines frowned. His eyes caught another line. _I should have died during the explosion._

He tried looking away, instead, on the floor, near his left foot, there were scrunched up scribbles. _All my fault. All my fault. All my fault. All my fault._

There were 36 _All my fault_ total where his foot was. 

He tried looking again. Elsewhere. 

_Amanda was right._

On another wall.

_I shouldn’t be alive_

Next to Sumo’s wagging tail.

_I killed them._

It was difficult for Nines to keep his synthetic breathing running. The words kept on closing around him. It felt wrong. All of it felt wrong. He felt like he had breached all of Connor’s secrets.

He had wanted to know Connor better.

Not like this.

The stem of his glass cracked, and broke free under his thumb. The bowl fell to the ground and cracked. The thirium covered a string of _rA9_ and half of a sentence that finished with _Monster_ , the only word still legible.

All heads turned toward him.

Nines couldn’t care less. 

He didn’t manage to control the way his hands clenched and trembled. He couldn’t control the way his synthetic breathing kept stopping periodically. He could see red notifications in his HUD but couldn’t make out what they were. Something was feeling wrong at the edge of his eyelids.

Everywhere he looked, blue words were thrown at him. Thirium was everywhere. It was trapping him.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. 

The hand was slapped away, and Nines looked up abruptly. His body reacted so fast he could feel his limbs have trouble following his movements. 

Connor’s arm was on his side, eyes finally having something else than emptiness shining in them. Nines didn’t know if he should have felt relief when he saw realisation and anxiety in his prototype’s brown eyes, but he did.

He grabbed Connor’s arm before the other could step away. 

Connor tensed up. Once again, his eyes sharpened, but not in the usual way. Nines had never seen him like that. This was the Deviant Hunter he heard about in New Jericho’s hallways. The android that calculated everything.

Words on the ceiling caught his eyes. _Ruthless Murderer_.

Connor saw him as a threat.

It didn’t ease the way his biocomponents were squeezing together right under his thirium pump. Connor had been doing this to himself. Even when, _together_ , they had brought so many lost androids to New Jericho. So they could learn.

So they wouldn’t lose themselves to carvings and rA9 on the walls.

Nines opened his mouth, breathing in for an instant. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to ask this bluntly. How could he possibly be down to earth on such a subject… ? 

All he managed was a raspy “Why?”

Connor tugged on his restrained arm, trying to free himself. Nines would never let that happen. Not now. He stood up, pulling Connor towards him.

His prototype stiffened when Nines brought his arms around his frame, and immediately raised his hand to Nines’ middle.

Nines forced an interface open. The fingers opened his shirt, finding the edges of the pump. 

He was bombarded by anger, betrayal and fear. But Nines held strong, even when he could feel Connor’s shaky hand slowly pawing at his pump. He had been struggling for so long. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

After all they had done together. All these cases where they had to report androids to the psychological ward of New Jericho. All these moments where Nines thought everything was _fine_.

Connor didn’t answer him, hand giving up and being curled up into a fist.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Nines repeated, pressing himself closer to Connor. Even more so when he tried to push him away.

He saw something wet taint Connor’s jacket to a deeper grey. Tears. That was the feeling at the edge of his eyelids.

“What’s going on?” Hank butted in with a low growl. 

Their small public seemed confused. Hank looked pissed as much as he looked nervous. The human probably had been suspecting something was wrong with Connor for a while. Probably, just like Nines, he had decided to believe Connor was fine. That it was just Connor being Connor.

Something he would describe as bitter flooded his pump.

Nines started sending a video of the walls. Of what he had seen while he was there, to the group that was present. 

He almost interrupted the transfer when he heard a small, terrified “Don’t” from Connor. He still sent it, finally hugging Connor tighter when he felt arms wrap around him in return. It was something he had to do.

He had to do it for Connor.

He heard Hank’s phone vibrate. The man cursed. All of them gave signs of having received the message.

If Connor’s grip on his jacket had been strong. Now, Nines was sure he would need a replacement. He could feel his whole body being squeezed.

Connor let out a shuddering gasp, and buried himself deeper in Nines’ shoulder.

It was such a human reaction. 

Too human to be a machine.

Too human not to be helped.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this one-shot prompt! I would love to hear what you thought about it!
> 
> This is part of the one-shot prompt series, which is basically a small challenge we give each other with [ TNKT ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TNKT/) when we both have time (and invite anyone who wants to to join on the fun!)
> 
> This time, the prompt was "Survivor's Guilt", chosen by yours truly. It allowed me to use an idea I've had for a long while for Connor. I finally dusted it off, and managed to provide! You can find TNKT's take on the prompt by clicking [ here ](https://lost-tanuki-tales.tumblr.com/post/612850073450266624/prompt-fill-tlar). If you want to check out the other prompts we've written so far, you can click on [my one-shot prompt masterlist ](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1601422) or [TNKT's one-shot prompt masterlist!](https://lost-tanuki-tales.tumblr.com/post/612320046092599296/masterlist-oneshot-prompt-challenge)


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